


If the sides did six the musical

by Foxfiresystem, Probably_Insane



Series: Fandom Song Fic Parody [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:48:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22442065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foxfiresystem/pseuds/Foxfiresystem, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Probably_Insane/pseuds/Probably_Insane
Summary: My lovely partner made this fic and I stumbled across it in one of our documents. I present you with what would happen if the sides were in six the musical. -Fox
Series: Fandom Song Fic Parody [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1452157
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	1. Roles and reasons

****Patton:**** Catherine of Aragon   
****Roman:**** Anne Boleyn   
****Virgil:**** Jane Seymore   
****Deceit (Seth):**** Anna of Cleves   
****Remy:**** Katherine Howard   
****Logan:**** Catherine Parr

 ****Reason for Dee’s name:**** I chose Seth for his name because Seth comes from Set, the Egyptian god of Lies and Discord (also because in the Kane Chronicles he's a little shit and * _very_ * extra), and if that ain't Dee, I don't know *what* is.

****Reason for Roles****

****Patton's role:**** Catherine of Aragon was loyal to the Church, which meant she was loyal to her husband and the Vatican Church and thought divorce and cheating were sins, so she kept her mouth shut about Henry's cheating to preserve his image. When he divorced her, she couldn't understand what she'd done wrong and hated that he just * _replaced_ * her after 24 years. Patton's (kinda extreme) morals about putting others before yourself otherwise you're a bad person, to me at least, is sorta similar. They both did what they thought was right, but in the end it didn't work out (see DWIT)

 ****Roman's role:**** This isn't as deep as Patton's because I'll be honest, the first time I heard this I thought "That's Roman", BUT ANYWAY. Anne Boleyn went to England because she was bored, she fell in love with a person of a lower class than she was (can’t remember what though), and married him. When her dad found out he forced them to divorce (IDK how, I think he killed the dude), and basically said "Go get the King instead, and get us higher in life." She does, Henry finds out, and has her beheaded for it. Roman is always going all out, but seems the type to love someone simple, to balance him out. But he's always been the people pleaser (SvS, Crofters, etc) so if he thought it would make someone proud, he'd do it. But he also gets extremely jealous, which could mean his downfall.

 ****Virgil's role:**** Jane was lucky, being the only one successful to bear a son, therefore the only one Henry loved. She was the one to not only bear him a son, but she was faithful. He treated her well during the pregnancy, but she still loved him wholeheartedly, knowing if she had a daughter, he'd hate her, but she didn't care. As she approached birth, she knew she wouldn't make it, but remained as loving as before. Virgil loves his famILY so much, and would do most anything for them. He's extremely loyal, like Jane, and despite knowing that by revealing his role as a former dark side might make them hate him again, he still loves them.

 ****Dee's role:**** After a painter goes around painting portraits of all the beautiful girls for Henry, Anna is chosen to become his new bride. But the workers at Holbein made sure everyone looked better than they actually looked. Henry, when he sees Anna in person, claims that she tricked him, as she wasn't as pretty as the picture. But, Anna didn't take any shit from Henry, and hung the picture where every guest could see, and being queen, he can't exactly stop her. In any case, she earns Henry's respect, and when he divorced her, she left quietly and got herself loads of freedom (considering the times). Deceit refuses to take shit from anybody, he gives it, and is disregarded and unliked because of his snake-like traits. Deceit is also a massive flirt, but he does it all in good fun. And being Self-Preservation, he’s the one trying to get Thomas to put himself before others every once in a while, and is seen as trying to get Thomas to be selfish all the time, which isn’t true. Dee just wants Thomas to take care of himself and be a little prideful now and again, like Anna of Cleves, even if it goes against society’s standards. That's really it.

 ****Remy’ role:**** Katherine had a childhood crush on Henry Mannox when she was 13 and him, 23. Mannox proceeds to manipulate and abuse Kate, by saying she was the most beautiful, when she found out she hated him. Francis; she started as a secretary to the Dowager duchess, but they eventually became much closer and started having affairs. She was sure it was different than Mannox, but he was always impatient in the bedroom, and pushed her before she was ready. Then she met Henry, who as in the song, found her eye candy. He gave her responsibilities as his advisor basically and says he’d be lost without her. So they get married, yay. But he's always out and his friends are perverted, so she befriends a member of court to relax with while henry's away. She thinks Thomas is her best friend, and a breath of fresh air, and continuously friend-zones him and tells him her past experiences with guys (Bad Idea). Obviously, either he tells Henry, or Henry catches them together, and like Boleyn, is beheaded for being promiscuous. Remy is extremely sarcastic, and is seen as the most flirtatious and sexual Sanders Shorts figments by some fanders (please don’t ask how I know this. Tumblr is scary). But, he just wants to have fun, being the personification of Thomas’ sleep schedule is boring. So with that in mind, I wouldn't put it past him to be the one that can’t help himself when he sees something he likes.

 ****Logan's role:**** Like Catherine of Aragon and Jane Seymore before her, Catherine Parr "loved" Henry, but she could survive without his love. She'd already been married off to survive twice before, and if up to her, she would say that she doesn't belong to him, she's not property, as if she'd give up everything for him. But seeing as he's keeping her alive, she was quiet. But before him, she wrote, and she wrote a lot. Books, meditations, psalms, fought for women's education so they could study, and read literature, and even got another woman to paint her. But without Henry, she'd disappear into history's pages. Logan is always forgotten and spoken over, and with them there, it's almost the opposite. He's the one who handled Remus in DWIT, and helped teach the others what Dee was trying to say in SvS. He says that he doesn't need emotions to be Logic, but he wants to say that if he could he would show them, but the others wouldn't take him seriously.


	2. Ex wives

****Patton:**** Divorced   
****Roman:**** Beheaded   
****Virgil:**** Died

 ****Seth:**** Divorced   
****Remy:**** Beheaded   
****Logan:**** Survived

 ****Patton:**** And tonight, we are…

 ****All:**** Live!

 ****Patton:**** Listen up let me tell you a story,   
****Roman:**** A story that you think you've heard before.   
****Virgil:**** We know you know our names and our fame and our faces,   
****Seth:**** But what about the glories and the disgraces?

 ****Remy:**** I'm done 'cause all this time,   
I've been just one word in a stupid rhyme!   
****Logan:**** So I picked up a pen and a microphone,

 ****All:**** History's about to get overthrown.

 ****Patton:**** Divorced   
****Roman:**** Beheaded   
****Virgil:**** Died

 ****Seth:**** Divorced   
****Remy:**** Beheaded   
****Logan:**** Survived

 ****All:**** But just for you tonight   
We're divorced, beheaded, live!

Welcome to the show, to the historemix,  
Switching up the flow as we add the prefix,   
Everybody knows that we used to be six loves...

Raising up the roof ‘till we hit the ceiling,  
Get ready for the truth that we'll be revealing!   
Everybody knows that we used to be six loves...

But now we're,  
Ex-Loves!

 ****Patton:**** All you ever hear and read about,   
****Roman:**** Is our ex and the way it ended.   
****Virgil:**** But a pair doesn't beat a royal flush,   
****Seth:**** You're gonna find out how we got, unfriended.

 ****Remy:**** Tonight we're gonna do ourselves justice,   
'Cause we're taking you to court!

 ****Logan:**** And every Tudor rose has its thorns,   
And you're gonna hear 'em live,   
In consort.

*Unenthused*

 ****Patton:**** Divorced   
****Roman:**** Beheaded   
****Virgil:**** Died

 ****Seth:**** Divorced   
****Remy:**** Beheaded   
****Logan:**** Survived

 ****All:**** But just for you tonight   
We're divorced, beheaded, live!

Welcome to the show, to the historemix,  
Switching up the flow as we add the prefix.   
Everybody knows that we used to be six loves...

Dancing to the beat till the break of day. Once  
We're done we'll start again like it's the Renaissance,   
Everybody knows that we used to be six loves...

But now we're,  
 ****Seth:**** Ex-Loves!

 ****Ensemble:**** (Divorced)

 ****Patton:**** My name's Patton of Aragon   
Was married twenty-four years I'm a paragon   
Of royalty, my loyalty is to the Vatican   
So if you try to dump me...

You won't try that again.

 ****Ensemble:**** (Beheaded)

 ****Roman:**** I'm that Boleyn boy and I'm up next   
See I broke England from the church   
Yeah I'm that sexy   
Why did I lose my head?   
Well my sleeves may be green, but my lipstick's red

 ****Ensemble:**** (Died)   
****Virgil:**** Virgil Seymour the only one he truly loved   
****Ensemble:**** (Rude)

 ****Virgil:**** When my son was newly born, I died   
But I'm not what I seem or am I?   
Stick around and you'll suddenly see more

 ****Ensemble:**** (Divorced)   
****Seth (Dee):**** Ich bin Seth of Cleves.   
****Ensemble:**** (Ja.)

 ****Seth:**** When he saw my portrait he was like,   
****Ensemble:**** (Jaa!)   
****Seth:**** But I didn't look as good as good as I did in my pic.   
Funny how we all discuss that but never Henry's little-

 ****Remy:**** Prick up your ears, I'm the Remy who lost his head.   
****Ensemble:**** (Beheaded)

 ****Remy:**** For my promiscuity outside of wed.   
Lock up your husbands,   
Lock up your sons.   
R Howard is here and the fun's begun!

 ****Ensemble:**** (Survived)

 ****Logan:**** Five down I'm the final man   
I saw him to life's inevitable plan.   
I'm the survivor, Logan Parr!   
I bet you wanna know how I got this far,   
I said I bet you wanna know how we got this far!

 ****All:**** Do you wanna know how we got this far then?

Welcome to the show, to the historemix,  
Switching up the flow as we add the prefix.   
Everybody knows that we used to be six loves.

Get your hands up, get this party buzzing,  
You want a King Bee, well there's half a dozen!   
Everybody knows that we used to be six loves…….   
Ohhhhhh,

But now we're,  
Ex-Loves!

One, two, three, four, five... six!


	3. No way

****All:**** (N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way.)

****Patton:**** There's no way.   
You must agree that baby in all the time I been by your side,   
I've never lost control no matter how many times I knew you lied.

Have my golden rule,   
Gotta keep my cool, yeah, baby.   
****Ensemble:**** (You know he’s gotta keep his cool)

****Patton:**** And even though you've had your fun,   
running around with some pretty young thing,   
And even though you've had one son,   
with someone who don't own a wedding ring.

No matter what I heard, I didn't say a word.   
No, baby.   
****Ensemble:**** (You know he never said a word)

****Patton:**** I've put up with your sh--   
Like every single day.

****Someone:**** Woah-oh, woah-oh!   
But now it's time to shh,   
And listen when I say.

You must think that I'm crazy,   
You wanna replace me, baby   
There's,   
N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way.

If you think for a moment,   
I'd grant you annulment, just hold up   
There's,   
N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way.

No way,   
No way,   
There's,   
N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way.

No way,   
Now way,   
There's,   
N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way.

There's no way.

So you read a bible verse that I'm   
Cursed 'cause I was your brother’s boy.   
You say it's a pity 'cause quoting   
Leviticus "I'll end up kidiless with no joy"

Well daddy weren't you there, when we adopted Mary?

****Patton:**** [Oh, hi baby]   
****Ensemble:**** (Daughters are so easy to forget)   
****Patton:**** You're just so full of sh--   
Must think that I'm naive.

****Ensemble:**** (Woah-oh, woah-oh)   
****Patton:**** I won't back down won't shh,   
And no! I'll never leave.

You must think that I'm crazy,   
You wanna replace me, baby   
There's,   
N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way.

It'd be kinda scary in that monastery,   
Harry,   
There's,   
Nooooo, way,

No way,   
No way,   
There's,   
N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way.

No way,   
Now way,   
There's,   
N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way.

There's no way.

(Hey!   
Woo!   
Let’s go!   
Woo!   
Here we go.)

You got me down on my knees, please,   
Tell me what you think I've done wrong.   
Been humble, been loyal,   
I've tried,

To swallow my pride all along.   
If you can just explain a single   
Thing I've done to cause you pain, I'll go.

No?   
You've got nothing to say?   
I'm not going away.   
There's no way!

You must think that I'm crazy,   
You wanna replace me, baby,   
There's,   
****All:**** N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way.

****Patton:**** You made me your love, so   
I'll be king till the end of my life!   
****All:**** N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way.

****All:**** No way,   
No way,   
****Patton:**** N-N-N-Nup-Na-Nup-Na-Nup-Na   
****Ensemble:**** (No way,   
No way,)

****Patton:**** There's,  
 ****All:**** N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way,  
 ****Patton:**** There's No way!


	4. Don’t lose your head

****Roman:**** Grew up in the French court,   
Oui, oui bonjour.   
Life was a chore so,   
****Ensemble:**** (He set sail).

****Roman:**** 1522, came straight to the UK,   
All the British dudes lame.   
****Ensemble:**** (Epic fail).   
(Ooo-Ooo),

****Roman:**** I wanna dance and sing.   
****Ensemble:**** (Politics),   
****Roman:**** Not my thing.

****Ensemble:**** (Ooo-Ooo),   
****Roman:**** But then I met the king,   
And soon my daddy said "You should try to get ahead"

He wanted me, hah, obviously,   
Messaging me like everyday.   
Couldn't be better then he sent me a letter,   
And who am I kidding I was Prêt-à-manger.

****Ensemble:**** (Ooo-Ooo),   
****Roman:**** Sent a reply.   
****Ensemble:**** (Ooo-Ooo),   
****Roman:**** Just sayin' hi.

****Ensemble:**** (Ooo-Hoo)   
****Roman:**** You're a nice guy,   
I'll think about it maybe   
XO, baby.

****Ensemble:**** (Uh-oh…)   
****Roman:**** Here we go..   
****Ensemble:**** (You got him in a twister?)   
****Roman:**** I didn't know I would move in with his mister.

****Ensemble:**** (What?!)   
****Roman:**** He'll recover!   
****Ensemble:**** (You're living with his lover!)   
****Roman:**** Like, what was I meant to do?

Sorry, not sorry bout', what I said,   
I'm just tryna' have some fun.   
Don't worry, don't worry,   
Don't lose your head,

I didn't mean to hurt anyone…   
L-O-L, say "Oh well", or go to hell.   
I'm sorry not sorry bout' what I said.   
Don't lose your head.

Three in the bed,   
And the little one said,   
"If you wanna be wed, make up your mind!"

It's him or me, chum,   
Don't wanna be some   
Boy in a threesome,   
Are you blind?

****Ensemble:**** (Ooo-Ooo,)   
****Roman:**** Don't act bitten.   
****Ensemble:**** (Ooo-Ooo,)   
****Roman:**** 'Cause I fit in.

****Ensemble:**** (Ooo-Hoo,)   
****Roman:**** Why hasn't it hit him?   
He doesn't wanna bang you, somebody hang you.

****Ensemble:**** (Uh-oh.)   
****Roman:**** Here we go...   
****Ensemble:**** (Your comment went viral.)   
****Roman:**** I didn't really mean it but rumours spiral.   
****Ensemble:**** (Wow, Ro, way to make the country hate you.)

****Roman:**** Mate, what was I meant to do?

Sorry, not sorry bout', what I said,   
I'm just tryna' have some fun.   
Don't worry, don't worry,   
Don't lose your head,

I didn't mean to hurt anyone…   
L-O-L, say "Oh well", or go to hell.   
I'm sorry not sorry bout' what I said.   
Don't lose your head.

Tried to elope, but the pope said nope,   
Our only hope was Henry.

He got a promotion,   
Caused a commotion,   
Set in motion, the CofE.

****Ensemble:**** (The rules,)   
****Roman:**** Were so outdated.   
Us two wanted to get x rated.

****Ensemble:**** (Soon, excommunicated!)   
****Roman:**** Everybody chill it’s totes god's will.

Henry's out every night on the town   
Just sleepin' around,   
Like what the hell?

If that's how it's gonna be,   
Maybe I'll flirt with a guy or three   
Just to make him jell.

Henry finds out and he goes mental,   
He screams and shouts like so judgemental.

****Orange:**** "You damned witch"

****Roman:**** Mate, just shut up.   
I wouldn't be such a bi--- if you could get it up .

****Ensemble:**** (Uh oh,)   
****Roman:**** Here we go.   
****Ensemble:**** (Is that what you said?)   
****Roman:**** And now he's going 'round like,

****Orange**** "Off with his head!"

****Ensemble:**** (No!)   
****Roman:**** Yea, I'm pretty sure he means it.   
****Ensemble:**** (Seems it.)

****Roman:**** What was I meant to do?   
****Ensemble:**** (What was he meant to do?)   
****Roman:**** Like, what was I meant to do?   
****Ensemble:**** (What was he meant to do?)

****Roman:**** No, but, what was I meant to do?!

Sorry, not sorry bout', what I said,   
I'm just tryna' have some fun.   
Don't worry, don't worry,   
Don't lose your head,

I didn't mean to hurt anyone…   
L-O-L, say "Oh well", or go to hell.

****Remy:**** (~Just go to hell~)

****Roman:**** Sorry not sorry bout' what I said.   
****Ensemble:**** (Sorry not sorry bout' what he said.)   
****Roman:**** Sorry NOT sorry bout' what I said,

Don't lose your head.

(Hahaha, sorry… haha!)


	5. Heart of stone

****Virgil:**** You've got a good heart,   
But I know it changes.   
A restless tide, untameable.

You came my way,   
And I knew a storm could come too.   
You'd lift me high, or let me fall.

But I took your hand,   
Promised I'd withstand,   
Any blaze you blew my way.

'Cause something inside,   
It solidified,   
And I knew I'd always stay.

You can build me up,   
You can tear me down.   
You can try but I'm, unbreakable.

You can do your best,   
But I'll stand the test.   
You'll find that I'm, unshakeable.

When the fire's burnt,   
When the wind has blown.   
When the water's dried,   
You'll still find stone,

My heart of stone.

You say we're perfect,   
A perfect family.   
You hold us close for the world to see.

And when I say you're the only one I've ever loved,   
I mean those words truthfully.

But I know, without my son,   
Your love could disappear.   
And though it isn't fair,   
But I don't care,

'Cause my love will still be here.

You can build me up,   
You can tear me down.   
You can try but I'm, unbreakable.

You can do your best,   
But I'll stand the test.   
You'll find that I'm, unshakeable.

When the fire's burnt,   
When the wind has blown.   
When the water's dried,   
You'll still find stone,

My heart of stone.

Soon I'll have to go,   
I'll never see him grow.   
But I hope my son will know,   
He'll never be alone.

'Cause like a river runs dry,   
And leaves its scars behind.   
I'll be by your side,

'Cause my love,   
Is set in stone.

Yeah!

****Ensemble:**** (You can build me up   
You can tear me down   
You can try but I'm unbreakable)

****Virgil:**** Unbreakable!   
Ooo.

****Ensemble:**** (You can do your best,   
But I'll stand the test.   
You'll find that I'm, unshakeable.)

****All:**** The fire's burnt.,   
The wind has blown.   
The water's dried,

****Virgil:**** You'll still find stone   
My heart of stone!

****Ensemble:**** (You can build me up,   
You can tear me down.   
You can try but I'm, unbreakable.)

****Virgil:**** Can’t break me,   
Can’t break me,   
Stone!

****Ensemble:**** (You can do your best,   
But I'll stand the test.   
You'll find that I'm, unshakeable.)

****Virgil:**** Can’t break me,   
Can’t break me!   
Stone!

****Ensemble:**** (The fire's burnt,   
The wind has blown.   
The water's dried,)

****Virgil:**** Can’t break me!   
You'll still find stone...   
My heart of stone.


	6. Get down

****Seth:**** Sittin' here all alone,   
On a throne,   
In a palace that I happen to own.

Bring me some pheasant,   
Keep it on the bone!

Fill my goblet up to the brim,   
Sippin' on mead and I spill it on my suit,   
With the gold lace trim.

Not very prim and proper,   
Can't make me stop.

I wanna go hunting, any takers?   
I'm not fake, 'cause I've got acres and acres   
Paid for with my own riches   
Where my hounds at? Release the bitches

****Ensemble:**** (Woof)

****Seth:**** Everyday,   
Head back for a round of croquet, yeah.   
'Cause I'm a player,   
And tomorrow, I'll hit replay.

You, you said that I tricked ya,   
'Cause I, I didn't look like my profile picture.   
Too, too bad I don't agree.   
So I'm gonna hang it up for everyone to see,   
And you can't stop me 'cause,

I'm the king of the castle,   
Get down, you dirty rascal.

Get down   
Get down   
Get down you dirty rascal

Get down   
Get down   
'Cause I'm the king of the castle!

When I get bored,   
I go to court.

Pull up outside in my carriage.   
Don't got no marriage,   
So I have a little flirt with the footman,   
As he takes my fur.   
As you were.

Making my way to the dance floor   
Some boys make an advance   
I ignore them   
'Cause my jam comes on the lute   
Lookin' cute   
Das ist gut

All eyes on me   
No criticism   
I look more rad than Lutheranism

Dance so hard that I'm causin' a sensation   
Okay now boys, let's get in reformation

You, you said that I tricked ya,   
'Cause I, I didn't look like my profile picture.   
Too, too bad I don't agree.   
So I'm gonna hang it up for everyone to see,   
And you can't stop me 'cause,

I'm the king of the castle,   
Get down, you dirty rascal.

Get down   
Get down   
(You dirty rascal!)

Get down   
Get down   
'Cause I'm the king of the castle!

Now I ain't sayin' I'm a gold digger   
But check my prenup,   
And go figure

Got gold chains   
Symbolic of my faith to the higher power   
In the fast lane   
My horses can trot up to twelve miles an hour

Let me explain.   
I'm a Wiener Schnitzel, not an English flower   
No one tells me I need a rich man,   
Doin' my thing in my palace in Richmond!

****All:**** You,  
 ****Seth:**** You said that I tricked ya (tricked ya)  
'Cause I (I), I didn't look like my profile picture (no no)

Too, too bad I don't agree (too bad I don't agree)  
So I'm gonna hang it up (hang it up, hang it up), for everyone to see  
And you  
Can't. Stop,

You can't stop me. 'Cause

**_I'm_** the king of the castle,  
 **Get down, you** **dirty rascal!**

Get down (yeah, c'mon, ha!)   
Gggget down (get down with me)   
Get down you  _ dirty rascal… _ _   
_ Get down (this is Seth of Cleves)

(Aha-ha-ha, get)   
I get, I get  down   
(Ow!)   
_ 'Cause I'm the king of the castle! _


	7. All you wanna do

****Ensemble:**** All you wanna do,  
All you wanna do, baby.  
 ****Remy:**** I think we can all agree,  
I’m a ten amongst these threes.

 ****Ensemble:**** All you wanna do,  
All you wanna do, baby.  
 ****Remy:**** And ever since I was a child,  
It’d make the boys go wild! (Haha!)

 ****Ensemble:**** All you wanna do,  
All you wanna do, baby.  
 ****Remy:**** Take my first music teacher, Henry Manox.

I was young, it's true  
But even then I knew  
The only thing you wanna do is…

Mwah!

Broad, dark, sexy Manox

Taught me all about dynamics  
He was twenty three  
And I was thirteen  
Going on thirty

We spent hours strumming the lute  
Striking the chords and blowing the flute  
He plucked my strings all the way to G  
Went from major to minor  
C to D

Tell me what you need  
What you want  
You don't need to plead

'Cause I feel  
The chemistry  
Like I get you  
And you get me and,

Maybe this is it  
He just cares so much  
It feels legit.

We have a connection,  
I think this guy is different.

 ****Ensemble:**** ‘Cause, all you wanna do,  
All you wanna do, baby.  
 ****Remy:**** Is touch me, love me  
Can’t get enough see.

 ****Ensemble:**** All you wanna do,  
All you wanna do, baby. **  
******Remy:**** Is please me, squeeze me  
Birds and the bees me.

Run your fingers through my hair  
Tell me I'm the fairest of the fair

Playtime's over  
The only thing you wanna do is

Mwah!

[But then there was another guy,  
Francis Dereham.]

Serious, stern and slow  
Gets what he wants and he won't take no  
Passion in all that he touches  
The sexy secretary to the dowager duchess

Helped him in his office had a duty to fulfill  
He even let me use his favourite quill  
Spilled ink all over the parchment  
My wrist was so tired

Still I came back the next day  
As he required

You say, I'm all you need  
All you want, you don't need to plead  
'Cause I feel the chemistry  
Like I get you and you get me, and

I know, this is it  
He just cares so much  
This one's legit

We have a real connection  
I'm sure this time is different

 ****Ensemble:**** ‘Cause all you wanna do,  
All you wanna do, baby.  
 ****Remy:**** Is touch me, love me  
Can’t get enough see. 

****Ensemble:**** All you wanna do,  
All you wanna do, baby. **  
******Remy:**** Is please me, squeeze me  
Birds and the bees me.

You can't wait a second more  
To get my tailcoat on the floor

Playtime's over  
The only thing you wanna do is…

Mwah!

[Yeah, that didn't work out  
So I decided to have a break from boys  
And you'll never guess who I met]

Tall, large, Henry the Eight  
Supreme head of the Church of England  
Globally revered  
Although you wouldn't know it from the look of that beard

Made me one of his courtiers, hurled  
Me and my family up in the world  
Gave me duties in court and he swears it's true  
That without me he doesn't know what he'd do

You say, I'm all you need  
All you want, we both agree  
This is the place for me  
I'm finally where I'm meant to be

Then he starts saying all this stuff  
He cares so much, he calls me 'love'

He says we have this connection  
I guess it's not so different

 ****Ensemble:**** ‘Cause all you wanna do,  
All you wanna do, baby.  
 ****Remy:**** Is touch me, love me  
Can’t get enough see.

 ****Ensemble:**** All you wanna do,  
All you wanna do, baby. **  
******Remy:**** Is seize me, squeeze me  
Birds and the bees me.

There’s no time for when or how  
‘Cause you, just got to have me now.

Playtime’s over  
The only thing you wanna do is…

Mwah!

[So we got married. Woo]

With Henry, it isn't easy  
His temper's short and his mates are sleazy  
Except for this one courtier  
He's a really nice guy just  
So sincere

The royal life isn't what I planned  
But Thomas is there to lend a helping hand  
So sweet, makes sure that I'm okay  
And we hang out loads when the King's away

This guy, finally  
Is what I want, the friend I need  
Just mates, no chemistry  
I get him and he gets me

And there's nothing more to it  
He just cares so much, he's devoted

He says we have a connection…

I thought this time was different.

Why did I think he'd be different?

But it's never, ever different!

 ****Ensemble:**** ‘Cause all you wanna do,  
All you wanna do, baby.  
 ****Remy:**** Is touch me. When will  
Enough be enough see?

 ****Ensemble:**** All you wanna do,  
All you wanna do, baby. **  
******Remy:**** Is seize me, squeeze me  
Don’t care if you don’t please me!

Bite my lip and pull my hair,  
As you tell me I’m the fairest  
Of the fair!

 ****Ensemble:**** (Playtime’s over…  
Playtime’s over…)  
 ****All:**** Playtime’s over!

 ****Ensemble:**** (The only thing,  
The only thing,)  
 ****Remy:**** The only thing you wanna do is…

Mwah!


	8. I don’t need your love

****Logan:**** You know I love you, boy   
In every single way   
Though I love you, boy   
I'll miss you every day

Oh I love you, boy   
I wish that I could stay with you   
And keep the life I made with you   
And even though this feels so right   
I'm holding back the tears tonight

It's true I'll never be over you   
'Cause I have built a future in my mind with you   
And now the hope is gone   
There's nothing left for me to do

You know it isn't true   
But I must say to you

That I don't need your love, no, no   
I don't need your love, no, no   
It'll never be better than it was, no, no   
But I don't need your love, no, no

I've got no choice   
With the King I stay alive   
Never had a choice   
Been a lover twice before, just to survive

I don't have a choice   
If Henry says "It's you", then it's you   
No matter how I feel   
It's what I have to do

But if, somehow, I had that choice   
No holding back, I'd raise my voice   
I'd say, "Henry, yeah it's true

I'll never belong to you   
'Cause I am not your toy, to enjoy till there's something new   
As if I'm gonna give up my boy, my work, my dreams   
To care for you"

"Ha, darling, get a clue   
There's nothing you can do

I don't need your love, no, no   
No, I don't need you love, no, no   
There's nothing left to discuss, no, no   
But I don't need your love, no, no"

[But I can't say that,   
Not to the king.   
So this is goodbye.

All my love,   
Logan.]

So I sent that letter to my love   
Got married to the king   
Became the one who survived

I've told you about my tale   
A final wail

But why should that story   
Be the one I have to sing about?   
Just to win? I'm out

That's not my story   
There's so much more

Remember that I was a writer   
I wrote books and psalms and meditations   
Fought for equal education

So all the women could independently   
Study scripture   
I even got a woman to paint my picture

Why can't I tell that story?

'Cause in history   
I'm fixed as one of six   
And without him

I disappear   
We all disappear

****Patton:**** So we had no choice,   
****Roman:**** But now it’s us alone.

****Virgil:**** So we’ve got no choice, **  
** ****Seth:**** No, we’ve got no voice.

****Remy:**** We’re taking back the microphone, **  
** ****Logan:**** I’m gonna raise my voice.

****All:**** They always said:  
"We need your love"  
But it's time for us to rise above

It's not what went down in history   
But tonight I'm singing this for me

Henry, yeah, I'm through   
Too many times it's been told   
And I have had enough   
(I have had enough)

Love stories to get old   
And you might think it's tough   
But I've got to let your love run cold

We're taking back control   
(we're taking back control)   
You need to know

I don't need your love, no, no   
No, I don't need your love, no, no   
Can't let it get the better of us, no, no   
I don't need your love, no, no

I don't need your love, no, no   
No, I don't need your love, no, no   
I don't need your love, no, no   
I don't need your love

****Logan:**** We don’t need your love.


	9. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All probably_insane left on the doc at the end was I’m so sorry...

****Patton:**** He got down on one knee   
But I said "No way!"

Packed my bags   
And moved into a   
Monestaray!

Joined the gospel choir   
Our riffs were on fire   
At the top of the charts   
Is where I'm gonna stay

****Roman:**** Henry sent me a poem   
All about my green sleeves   
I changed a couple words   
Put it on a sick beat

The song blew their minds   
Next minute I was signed   
And now I'm writing lyrics   
For Shakesy P

****Virgil:**** Since my first son   
Our family's grown   
We made a band   
And got quite well known

You could perhaps call us   
The Tudor Von Trapps

I'm just kidding   
We're called the   
Royalling Stones (Heheh..)

****All:**** We're one of a kind   
No category   
Too many years   
Lost in history

We're free to take   
Our crowning glory   
For five more minutes   
We're SIX!

****Seth:**** What a shame   
Yeah, my face   
It cost me the crown

So I moved to the   
“Haus Of Holbein”!   
In my hometown

His mates were super arty   
But I showed them how to party

Now on my tour of Prussia   
Everybody "Gets down"

****Remy:**** Music man tried it on   
And I was like "Bye!"   
So I thought "Who needs him?   
I can give it a try"

I learned everything   
Now all I do is sing   
And I'll do that until I die

****Logan:**** Heard all about these rockin' guys   
Loved every song   
As they won each prize

So I went out and found them   
And we laid down an album

Now "I don't need your love"   
All I need is SIX!

****All:**** _*improv*_ [Aww!  
We love you too babe!  
Love you too, Lo/Lolo!]

We're one of a kind   
No category   
Too many years   
Lost in his story

We're free to take   
Our crowning glory   
For five more minutes   
We're SIX!

Woah, woah   
We're SIX!   
Woooah, we're SIX

Woah, woah   
For five more minutes...

It's the end of the show   
Of the historemix   
We switched up the flow   
And we changed the prefix

Everybody knows   
That we used to be six loves

But we want to say   
Before we drop the curtain   
Nothing is for sure   
Nothing is for certain

All that we know is that   
We used to be six loves

But now we're one of a kind   
No category   
Too many years   
Lost in his story

We're free to take   
Our crowning glory   
For five more minutes...

We're one of a kind   
No category   
Too many years   
Lost in his story

We're free to take   
Our crowning glory   
For five more minutes   
We're SIX!

Woah, woah   
We're SIX!   
Woooah, we're SIX   
Woah, woah

For five, four, three,   
Two, one more minute...

We're SIX!

[cheering]


End file.
